Overwatch 2 wasn’t playable last night, but the memes were good

Junker Queen sits disgruntled on the floor as Overwatch 2 alerts pop up on the screen telling her she can't log in.

First time?
Picture: Blizzard / Kotaku

If you weren’t able to log in and play Blizzard’s long-awaited hero shooter sorta-sequel, Overwatch 2, you weren’t the only one. After months of developer updates, the launch of the free-to-play game was met with not just one, but two DDoS attacks, forcing players to suffer through ungodly long queues only to be met with the high probability of subsequent login errors redirecting their asses to the back of the queue. Really, the real one Overwatch 2 were the queues we waited in along the way.

I was prepared to write my own impressions Overwatch 2, but last night I also suffered from the log-in errors and was only able to squeeze in five matches before being kicked back into the queue. In an attempt to turn mountains into Mountain Dew, I’ve chronicled my experience playing and (mostly) not playing Overwatch 2. Prepare yourself for these tales from Overwatch 2 queue.

Read more: How DDoS attacks work and why they are so hard to stop

Hour: 1
Queue Status: 40,000 players ahead of me
Emotional Vibe Check: Disturbed

The irony was not lost on me that despite Overwatch teams that confess it OW2 is not just a glorified update to OW1I was literally sitting at my Xbox watching the loading screen OW1 receive an update called “Overwatch 2.” As annoying as all that was, I also couldn’t help but feel nostalgic about my bizarro journey with this game. It felt like it was only six years ago (because it was) when I first waited Overwatch‘s Xbox launch while sitting in my freshman dorm room. I had played the beta, hyped it up to friends and was almost ready to put it on the side The Witcher 3 and Rocket Leaguethe games that would keep me occupied between journo classes.

So it felt more than ironic that six years later I would be sitting in the living room of my second apartment, waiting Overwatch 2‘s launch so I could cover it for work. I’m still coming to terms with going to school for journalism while playing Overwatch in my downtime to become a game journal with a full-ass bachelor’s degree covering Overwatcha sequel of sorts. That is strange.

Suffice it to say last night Overwatch 2 quickly became a meme as I and countless others waited to finally be let in to play the game. In reality, this would not happen for some time, thanks to the various 20,000 to 40,000 players ahead of me and OW2‘s servers are under attack.

Hour: 2
Queue Status: 20,000 players ahead of me
Emotional Vibe Check: Hungry

It would be dishonest of me not to admit it at this point OW2 I let purgatory tempt me. I lost focus and bought my second – yes, you heard me, second –McDonald’s adult happy meal toy. Now hear me out, I still stand by the plastic toy destined to occupy American landfills for being ugly as sin, but I can’t deny my desire to possess my own biblically accurate Grimace and continue to note his presence to everyone future house guests. At least that’s how the scenario played out in my head. So far I only have the Hamburglar and Cactus Plant Flea Market’s Cactus Buddy (boo!), so I can only hope that a theoretical third trip to the well will net me the purple bastard. As you might have guessed, there is none OW2 update for this hour because I was too busy maxing out chicken nuggies.

Read more: Be prepared for these 7 big ones Overwatch 2 Changes in gameplay

Hour: 3
Queue Status: 40,000 players ahead of me (again)
Emotional Vibe Check: Bored

At this point I had given up all hope of ever playing OW2 and quit booting up my Steam Deck to do anything but play a video game. I was technically off the clock anyway, so why not? Why shouldn’t I live nice and use my glorified laptop to catch up on my stories? I was captivated by episodes of What we do in the shadows and even started watching the latest episode of the medieval drama for white people that is HBO’s House of the Dragon. They are the Targaryens messy. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who took this purgatory as an opportunity to metaphorically touch grass either. Another would be OW2 player hit the town and ended up winning fourth place at his local pub’s trivia night. Cheers.

Read more: Overwatch 2 The beta visuals don’t help the perception that it’s barely an update

Hour: 4
Queue Status: 20 people ahead of me
Emotional Vibe Check: WE ARE MOVING

The promised time was finally upon me. Like Creation of Adam, Junkrat’s dirty fingers touched my own through the Xbox controller and I was greeted with a gratuitous slow-motion image of Genji’s new epic skin trying to lure me into giving this game more money than I already had. to buy loot boxes in Summer Games earlier. But my willpower stayed strong because all I was worried about was how my sweet babies, D.VA, Mercy and Moira, looked. OW2. Lo and behold, all my skins and emotes were still there, albeit updated with OW2s new character models. It literally pays to be a grandfather OW2. The only thing that remained to be seen was if I could still hang in the game.

Read more: Overwatch 2 Sounds more and more like a free-to-play nightmare

As you can see, this old boy still got the moves. And by moves I mean main healer and tanks because OW1‘s queue times were horrible if you were trying to play a damage character. Of the five games I played last night, i.a OW2‘s new push card, I only lost one. So far I have played so far OW2 basically plays the same as OW1 just with the added bonus that character models look more detailed and its maps are at different times of day.

The big grip I have with me OW2 so far, it’s that firefights no longer feel like wars of attrition, where employing team-based strategies in tight chokepoints feels rewarded. Instead, OW2‘s larger map and 5v5 gameplay feels more akin to team deathmatches in Call of Duty where individual pop-off games are the focus.

One more upside OW2, compared to its closed beta, is that the outcome of matches no longer feels like a foregone conclusion if you or the enemy team have an early advantage. This is caused by OW2‘s new passive healing and damage properties, where if you work your ass, your health and movement speed gradually increases. I found this update to the game to be a welcome change in making characters across the board feel more durable instead of reintegrating OW1is feared barrier meta. No one liked every character and their mother having a barrier you needed to cut down, or getting shocked left and right by annoying heroes. (Looking at you, Brigitte.)

But my hubris to actually get into the game would catch up very soon, leading me to screw up. Sharing my PotG clip to the interwebs to let people know I’m “that guy” came back to bite me in the ass because when I returned to the game OW2‘s servers had decided to log me out and banish me back to the shadow realm of the login queue with the rest of you. Sad.

Hour: 5
Queue status: 400 people ahead of me
Emotional Vibe Check: Sleepy

In the end, as with its predecessor, what saved my jimmies from being rattled off Overwatch‘s many flaws—long content droughts, perpetual log-in errors, or the promise of a canonical story that constantly received retcons—were the memes pouring in from the community. You all were out in full force last night and made me remember why I love playing this damn game in the first place.

Read more: The Internet’s largest Overwatch 2 Questions, answered

Player Overwatch meant I could hang out with my friends across the country during late night sessions. It didn’t matter if we were aggressively rolled over the course of several games or if we had a monumental game-winning strategy; Eventually, OW served as the mood equivalent of keeping my favorite movie playing on mute while I caught up with the house guests. Weekly challenges were less about buying skins and emotes and more about having an excuse to call a friend and plan a playdate – something I hope to continue OW2s weekly challenges because I’m not going to pay for a Watchpoint pass. It would just ruin the fun of getting stuff by playing with my friends.

The best part of waiting to play OW2 wasn’t finally getting in, it was seeing the memes everyone was making while we waited. It was heartwarming to see ours Overwatch The community was still alive and kicking the only way we could be, by sharing memes from our folders for when Overwatch 2 is good and when it inevitably fails. Hopefully by the time I feel the urge to get back into the game and maybe play some of the new characters Blizzard will have its servers sorted.

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