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Mark Zuckerberg asks a Hawaiian neighbor to cut down ugly, overgrown rainforest

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KAUAI, HI — Growing more and more frustrated by the lack of respect for his 1,500-acre property, Mark Zuckerberg allegedly asked his Hawaiian neighbor this week to cut down the ugly, overgrown rainforest that invaded his property. “It’s unfair that there is this giant canopy of native trees that completely blocks my beautiful view of the horizon,” Zuckerberg said, adding that the real estate agent failed to mention that the neighbor had an untidy biome on their property. “The whole natural habitat over there is really a pain in the eye. I have lodged several complaints with the HOA about the messy old-growth trees next door, but I have not heard a peep, so I finally just had to ask him directly. I do not mean to be grumpy, but the thing is, the rainforest not only blocks the view – it also attracts a host of disgusting genes like insects, wildlife and indigenous peoples. So hopefully, now that we’ve talked together, they can have it all cleared out at the end of the week. “At press time, a tired Zuckerberg snuck into the property in the middle of the night to tear down the neighbor’s loud, disgusting waterfall that kept him awake.

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