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Greg Gutfeld: Elon Musk has taken a drug from our media

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So this is big news in the technology world and bigger, worse news for the media.

But first let’s take a look at Google. It’s a search engine Kat. Google it. It has now launched an inclusive language feature for their Google Docs, designed to avoid words that may offend users. For example, if you were to enter the word landlord, a warning might appear stating that it may not be inclusive for all readers, and then give them suggestions for replacements, such as the property owner or owner or Mr. Furley.

I’m still trying to figure out how that word offends anyone. Landlord goes back to medieval feudal systems and all these people are dead.

If you happen to use the word “humanity”, Google may ask you to replace it with “humanity”, which is a shame. I mean, what if it’s something historical like JFK’s opening speech? Google actually suggested replacing “for all of humanity” with “for all of humanity.” Man, JFK, John Nick Jr., Robert Joe, Senior Joe, Junior Ted, Kathleen, Ethel, David Michael must turn in their many graves right now.

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I wonder if they plan to censor JFK’s “ask what you can do for your country” because it may offend people who prefer not to pay their student loans.

So apparently you now have to bleach the story to make it fit with the hypersensitive present, which means “husband” or “wife” has to go. Which is a bit ironic as we live in a time where some men are going to become wives and where some wives now traditionally have to be men. And I want everyone to be like a forest creature with the power to knit placemats. A nymph. Housewife is now stay-at-home spouse. Policeman is now a police officer and so on. Of course, many computer systems have tools for correcting grammar and spelling, though you certainly would not know it after reading Jesse’s book.

And what starts with spreadsheets can probably find its way into your streets.

ACTOR WILL BE COURSE: Help! My wallet! Someone stop this guy.

ROBBERY: Hov, “guy?” We do not need to bring gender language into this.

ACTOR WILL BE COURSE: So what? I’m being man-made. Where’s the cop?

ROBBERY: Again with all the man talk? It’s like you’re not even listening to me.

ACTOR WILL BE COURSE: This was a gift from my landlord.

ROBBERY: OKAY. First of all, it’s called the proprietor or property owner, and I do not even want your bag anymore, quite frankly. And it’s weird that your landlord is giving you things.

ACTOR WILL BE COURSE: You said landlord!

Billionaire Elon Musk bought 9% of Twitter, an investment of 3 billion.  USD.  (Photo illustration by Rafael Henrique / SOPA Images / LightRocket via Getty Images)

Billionaire Elon Musk bought 9% of Twitter, an investment of 3 billion. USD. (Photo illustration by Rafael Henrique / SOPA Images / LightRocket via Getty Images)
(Photo illustration by Rafael Henrique / SOPA Images / LightRocket via Getty Images)

It seems that Big Brother is closing down every day, and it’s not coming from above, but from all sides, from sinister journalists like Taylor Lorenz, the misguided cancellation officer chasing Twitter users, to even former President Obama, who is launches a disinformation initiative claiming that there is no right to freedom of expression on social media. Apparently, he still believes that Twitter is no different from other media as they are both private. True, I have no obligation to include you in my show.

That’s obvious, but stay away from Twitter? It takes you away from the modern town square. The only reason to rejoice over it is to limit the flow of information – to exclude one narrative in favor of another, which is what the media does best. And that’s part of the big lie.

It’s not at all about being inclusive.

This community is already softer than a pipe sock filled with onion dips. It’s about excluding people whose opinions run counter to yours. If they can control the language, they can control the mind, so they do not have to spend so much time indoctrinating your children.

Also, who asks you to change problematic words? It’s always one side, and I bet it’s not an impartial source. It’s probably someone no one can stand for. And can you imagine how intolerable a person would have to be to be offended by these words? I’d rather marry Amber Heard.

We criticize China for their social credit system, but we get there too. How long before your bank rejects a loan because you were spotted at a Trump meeting?

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So yes, big brother is us. I do not think Orwell saw it coming. Or maybe he did. I never finished the book. Yes, I did not even read it. Got the rock notes. But it is strange how all this vigilance only bubbles up from the same places, academia, so that technology, the media, they invent it, spread it and use it to destroy freedom. And they all agree, because it’s not just words, it’s the power to control the tap so stories like Hunter’s laptop disappear.

No wonder they tumbled over Elon Musk and his giant bag of money. He realized that the only way to stop this threatening big brother – sorry big sister – is to strangle her with cash. By the way, I almost died that way when I stripped. His goal is to protect, not his speech or your speech, but all speech. And we should always be wary of people who are afraid of it. This means that their ideas are bad and that they would rather screen them and label competing thoughts as disinformation. Is that not true, Mr Obama? So good for Musk if he buys Twitter. He has just wrestled away the drug that drives most of our media, and he can actually save the town square and not only for humanity but also humanity.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the April 25, 2022 edition of “Gutfeld!”

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